I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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