WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller