Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
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We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.