You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
i would one night stand the shit outta him
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So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
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I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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