I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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