definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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