Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
