She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
