Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
We need to rekindle our bromance
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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