just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
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Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
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It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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