my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
This baby is an asshole
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
