he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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