you win again, gameday.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
