very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
