We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
