Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
