just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
