Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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