Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize