well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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