Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
