Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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