Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
