i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
