honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
