if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
