Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
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