I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
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He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
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Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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