tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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