he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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