im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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