Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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