Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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