Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
