Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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