Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Green mimosas i think yes
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
