she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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