maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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