Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
this beer tastes like vomit already
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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