There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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