Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
