Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Randomize
