that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
