She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
ok first of all what the fuck
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
