The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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