theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
