Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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