do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
as a side note pls kill me
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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