idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
