Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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