Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
