whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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