We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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