My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
