i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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