ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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