I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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