The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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