Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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