Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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