i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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