You smell like a Billy Joel song
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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