We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
